Let me not to the marriage of true minds...

a not-so-average love story & a not-so-average love poem

Four years ago today on February 12th, 2021, my husband and I got engaged during a snowstorm. There’s a level of irony to that. I’m Dominican and he’s Californian, so imagine a West Coast boy proposing to an island girl amidst snowflakes and ice—way outside their comfort zones of sunshine and warmth. Sol y calor.

Despite the irony, there was really only one answer to that (life-altering) question: Yes. Sí. For this was a marriage of true minds¹, even though it was also of two people born and raised in different countries.

The truth is, I never thought I’d find my match in an American because I’ve always felt so Dominican.

The truth is, my husband never thought he’d marry outside of his culture either.

But we both did, because as our good friend Shakespeare brilliantly penned all those centuries ago, the marriage of true minds knows no impediments. No language or culture or ocean can stand between true love—the ever fixed mark².

And yet, we live in a world were these very things shape us and make us who we are. Even when love is true, it’s hard to remain untethered to our roots. Everything in us longs for belonging. Everything in us desires to be understood, especially by the person we cherish most.

I'm aware this tension, to be wholly loved and wholly understood, exists in every marriage. However, I do believe bicultural marriages sometimes require an extra dose of patience, humility, and forbearance. It takes a bit more effort to appreciate and adopt your significant other’s differences when there are so many to learn and consider. But it is possible.

Whenever I've felt embarrassed to speak Spanish to our daughter in public, my husband has been there to speak those words to her with me. Whenever I’ve missed my country, so much so it has caused my heart to ache, my husband has been there to play Dominican music in our car and drive me to the nearest Dominican restaurant (even though it’s an hour away). Just as I’ve sacrificed familiarity and comfort to move to the United States, leaving family behind to build a new one with him, my husband has sacrificed familiarity and comfort by embracing a culture that, before meeting me, was completely foreign to him. This is the road to oneness—to set loyalties to land, culture, and language aside to embrace the other person for who God has created them to be.

Y aquí estamos (here we are), four years later: felizmente casados (happily married), raising our bilingual daughter, and loving one another… differences and all. We wouldn’t want it any other way.

The following poem is my attempt at capturing this reality. The idea that oneness in marriage requires a complete acceptance of the other, even when it includes things that are foreign to us. This poem is also part of my upcoming poetry collection which I’ve been hard at work on with the help of

Kimberly Phinney

. It’s still in the writing/editing phase, so consider this piece a rough draft. I literally wrote it last week, but wanted to share it with you today, on the anniversary of my engagement which also happens to be two days before Valentine’s Day.

Here’s a bit more on that upcoming collection in case you’re curious…

This debut poetry collection follows the poet from her upbringing on an island in the Caribbean, to her life as a wife, mother, and immigrant in America. The pieces in this collection, many of which are written in a bilingual format, explore themes of identity, the meaning of home, and how we belong to those things that follow us no matter where we go

San Rafael Coast, Dominican Republic. Photo taken by Héctor Vilorio, my Dad <3

Sacrifice/Sacrificio
 
On the altar, as I vow to you,
      amarte y respetarte
      en la salud y en la enfermedad, 
      en la riqueza y en la pobreza, 
      hasta que la muerte nos separe,
I sacrifice my motherland. 
I lay her down, slice her open. 

She starts to bleed in el mar Caribe, 
then el Pico Duarte y la Cordillera Central spill
out from her abdomen. I watch as ciguas palmeras, 
barrancolí, and loros fly out of her head 
in an agitated flutter. I hear her cries 
(or am I the one crying?) and still I promise 
my loyalty only to you—give myself over to our love.

Until it’s your turn to vow
and you gather her piece by piece from the ground.
Stuff the ocean back into her lungs. Stitch her up.
I sacrifice my motherland, but you
save her, embrace her, drink of her blood.
We become one. Somos uno. 
Esto es amor, this is love. 

Spanish to English translation: 
- Amarte y respetarte, en la salud y en la enfermedad, en la riqueza y en la pobreza, hasta que la muerte nos separe = To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. 
- El mar Caribe = the Caribbean Sea
- Pico Duarte = tallest  mountain peak in the Dominican Republic and the Caribbean 
- Cordillera Central = highest mountain range in the Dominican Republic and the Caribbean 
- Cigua Palmera = Palmchat. Endemic bird to the island of Hispaniola (home to the Dominican Republic and Haiti)
- Barrancolí = Broad-billed Tody. Endemic bird to the island of Hispaniola (home to the Dominican Republic and Haiti)
- Loro = Parrot

This work-in-progress poem is very special to me, as is this entire collection. I hope you enjoyed a little sneak peek. I’d love to know your thoughts below!

In Light of Eternity,

Rosa.

Special Valentine’s Day Offer! <3

Would you, or anyone you know, love the gift of year-round poetry prints? If so, this offer is for you!

Starting today, paid subscriptions to In Light of Eternity will be 25% off—$3.75/month or $45/year. Consider this the perfect Valentine’s Day gift to yourself or someone else you know and love. Click the link below to access the discounted rate. This offer will end on Friday, February 14th, 2025.

When you become a paid subscriber, here’s how I say a special thanks to you:

• You become a member of my poetry penpal club, which means you’ll receive a typewritten print of one of my poems in the mail every month! These are perfect for framing or gifting.

• You’re automatically entered into a yearly custom poem giveaway.

1. William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

2. William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116